Tribute to Dhyana & Kai

Max has a best friend that he has played with religiously this year. Sweet Kai is only two weeks younger than Max and they are perfect playmates. It was destiny when we met at Douglas Park at the beginning of the year and became fast friends.

We instantly connected with charismatic Kai and his goddess mama, Dhyana. She is an amazing mommy and someone I have the utmost respect for. She's eternally kind, generous, and full of love for life's little blessings. I truly think the way moms become friends in the beginning is by matched up parenting styles. I'm admittedly more likely to become friends with a mom that is breast feeding her baby at the park than with the mom yelling at her kid to "stop it" from afar. And I think timing was everything for us because we had set out with the intention to find more support in the neighborhood.

Dhyana and I have enjoyed each other's company, and have continued to discover that we have more and more in common. We both love traveling and have been to many countries around the world. We have both taught yoga. We have both worked as reporters. And we are both from the state where we do things bigger and supposedly better...Texas!

In case you haven't hung out with a super active toddler lately, I will inform you that the rate by which you get to know people is rather slow in mommy land. It's on rare occasions we get the opportunity to squeeze in some good conversation between explanations, kissies, nursing sessions, and diaper changes. But the icing on the cake for us is when we discovered we lived only two blocks away from one another. Score! We had new best friends to play with on a regular basis. Woohoo!!

That explains why it is extra sad for Max and me to announce that Dhyana and Kai have moved back to Texas for a few months. They are staying with family and enjoying San Antonio for a while. This move may only be temporary, but we will still miss them very, very much. Since their departure, I have taken a little walk down memory lane.

Max and Kai have had so many awesome adventures together this year. They have had a ridiculous amount of fun tearing up the parks around Los Angeles. They have been to the Noah's Ark exhibit at the skirball. They've enjoyed the low tide together on Santa Monica beach. They've been to potluck parties together. And when we were two tired mamas, we have been back and forth between each others' houses to give us a little "break" while the boys played together.

Kai and Max have been two peas in a pod during their second year of life. They adore being together and we are so grateful to call them friends. We love and miss you Dhyana and Kai!

Baby Band Baby Down!

It's Saturday afternoon and I am rebelliously blogging while Max naps. Showering, cleaning, and getting ready to meet my friend that will be here in 15 minutes may seem more important, but this is how I want to enjoy a few minutes of alone time.

I seem to be enjoying life more lately. That is always a goal, but since our fabulous Mammoth getaway, I have reconnected with the free-spirited side of myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not overly committal. I only plan one activity per day and that's my max. If we have time and energy for more, then so be it. But I'm a one stop shop in the plans department.

Today my plans are as fun as they've been all week. Paisley and I are going to walk the beach path with baby Max and then lunch with Marc. Doesn't that just sound nice. Southern California may have earthquakes, traffic, and smog, but damn it is beautiful. And perfect for a child to grow up. I can't imagine being so lucky to grow up in the mecca of entertainment. And I'm barely speaking of showbiz when I say entertainment, because the canyons and the sunshine provide more to the masses than the walk of fame has to offer eager tourists snapping pictures with their digital cameras.

December was full of rain and we just don't know how to behave in California after it has been raining for a few weeks in a row. Our activities are all outside-based and I almost went crazy after a month of no hikes, no Santa Monica stairs, and no parks. I guess that's why the Mammoth trip was the perfect kick in the butt. Since my wonderful days on the slopes, I have exercised almost every single day.

Yesterday I packed up baby Max in his new Ergo baby carrier and did six sets of Santa Monica stairs. That's at least 900 steps I climbed. We are getting in stellar shape for our hike in and out of the grand canyon in March. I'm so glad I sprung for the Ergo because it is by far the most comfortable baby carrier for mommy and baby.

Baby Max is in a band now and we have been rehearsing like crazy. He plays the drums, maracas, and makes his own music with random sticks and toys. And yes, you guessed correctly. It sounds beautiful! He is a talented musician along with the rest of his massive skill set. He is getting ready for broadway, but sometimes he likes to take a break to canoodle with one of his girlfriends. Frankie Bear might be a little clingy, but as you can see, chivalrous Max does not mind.

And sometimes a lil rockstar will fall or pass out because the fun is more than they can bare.

On Thursday we went to the park like we always do, and the most interesting thing happened. We were all playing on our patchwork quilt full of blankets. Moms were catching up and babies were grabbing each other's toys as usual. But Max decided he wanted to go play in an area about 25 yards away from us.

Whenever he crawls off I don't chase him because obviously he knows where I am and I can see him perfectly. So he went and sat by himself and played in the dirt and looked back every minute or two to make sure I was watching him. He would occasionally bring me a handful of dirt and then go back to his isolated spot under a tree. He is so secure and leaves me when he is ready, and that makes me so proud.

As other people would walk by, we were joking that maybe they forgot to take their baby. Everyone was laughing about who that baby belonged to. He was so independent without a care or worry in the world. I wish every baby could have the complete in arms experience in the beginning of life, and leave their mom when they are ready.

I hope Max never feels sick in his environment like he needs to run away. Attachment parenting has been so important to me. The Continuum Concept has given me so much confidence in my parenting style. I love my rambunctious rockstar!

Halloween Monkey Kisses

Happy Halloween! All weekend we are reminded of our own childhood joys of dressing up in homemade costumes and trick or treating all over the neighborhood. And we can't help but remember the sorrow of having our parents throw away all the candy. And the joy of having an extra secret stash that they didn't know about. And the sorrow of eating so much sugar that we had to vomit.

It probably wasn't necessary to eat the entire trash bag full of candy in one night. Just thinking about it gives me a simultaneous sugar high and low....I do not know how we were physically able to tear open hundreds of wrappers and shove that many nerds, reeses, and tootsie pops into our mouths in one sitting. In my old age (early 30's) I've graduated from binging on sweet confections to getting a head ache after a single peanut butter cookie. And I'm simply unable to resist the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. It has become rebellious of me to eat two whole cookies.

Contesting how much junk food I can ingest on Oct. 31 is not the only thing that has changed for me this halloween. Now all I care about it my little monkey. Seeing him at the park with his friends yesterday was the most precious thing in the entire world. All the mommies were eager to show off their little ghosts and goblins. Whether it was a lobster, farmer, or angel in tow, you can bet it was stinkin' cute.

As an outsider looking in, I probably would have thought that we were a bunch of nutball mommies torturing their little ones by forcing them to wear ridiculous outfits. However, I was on the inside all the way and loving every minute. Nothing could have been more normal and natural than staring at our little pumpkins.

Ballerina Calli was leaning in for a kiss, and Monkey Max decided to chew on some keys rather than reciprocate his lady friend's affection. Silly monkey....happy halloween!

Reflecting...

Look at his first tooth in this picture!

I just went back and watched the videos of when Baby Max was born. Wow, things have changed!

I was especially surprised to watch the video of 1 week postpartum to see how pregnant I looked. My belly was hanging out of the bottom of my shirt. How funny! I was huge!

The most special memory I have with my son so far is breast feeding for the first time. Everyone kept saying that breast feeding was so hard. But I didn't understand why or how it could be so difficult. Max came out ready to suck and made my job easy.

I think the reason it was so special to breast feed him was because it made everything so real. We put him up to the boob and he knew exactly what to do. It was probably the most pure and natural moment after giving birth. I stared at him the whole time. It was so amazing to see how he opened his mouth and started sucking. He seemed very happy there and I loved having him on me.

At that point my milk hadn't come in yet and I knew he was getting colostrum that he needed to clean out his digestive tract. The funny thing about colostrum is that it is clear and watery so you don't feel like you are feeding your child. It was more of a time to be close and get to know each other. My heart goes out to mommies and babies who are unable to breast feed because the bonding is so special.

But now that I have breast fed Max for the past 6 months, I understand why people say it is hard. It has nothing to do with putting your boob in a baby's mouth. That's the easy part for most. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule when there are health disorders and latch problems. But the actual act of feeding is quite easy. Especially with all the special pillows such as the boppy and the breast friend.

The reason people say breast feeding is hard is because you don't get to retreat away from your child and there is almost no opportunity to be selfish. For most of us that have only had to worry about taking care of ourselves for the past 30+ years, it is a huge lifestyle change. Newborns have to eat every hour or two, and that is the breast feeding mother's job. Point blank. You are the only one there to do that job.

So you might not think that sounds like a big deal, but when it comes down to not being able to sleep more than 3 hours in a row or just run off to run a quick errand, you start to realize how hard it can be. That's why you really need to look to your "village" for help with things like cooking and cleaning.

When I think about being attached to my son for the first 3 months of his life, it sounds easy and natural. But when you're living it and haven't been able to skip off to a yoga class or a retreat to the movies or anywhere at all by yourself for several months, you can see why many people quickly give up on breast feeding.

But if you hang in there past the first 3 or 4 months when sleep deprivation is at its worst, breast feeding becomes a miracle. Any time your baby is sick or fussy, you can always soothe by nursing. I've heard that many mothers regret that they quit nursing as soon as their baby is sick. It's too bad that moms will quit nursing and let their milk dry up when all they needed was help. It's a good feeling to know that I was able to nurse Max half the night before he got his first tooth. He must have been in so much pain and it's nice to know that I was able to bring him some relief.

My favorite thing about breast feeding is that I don't have to pack formula and bottles everywhere I go. Babies need enough these days between diapers, wipes, carseats, change of outfits, etc. The last thing I want to have to do on top of that is make bottles. And since I am not making bottles, I am not cleaning bottles. And you know the last thing I want to deal with is cleaning anything I don't have to.

Now that Max has begun eating solid foods, I am not the only one capable of feeding him anymore. So a breast feeding mother is only 100% in charge of feedings for 6 months. Then it is possible to share that responsibility with others. Just because breast feeding is so consuming in the beginning doesn't mean it will stay that way. It just gets easier and easier.

I'm starting to sound like a lactation consultant, huh! I wish all mothers could share this bond with their babies. My most special moments with Max are revolved around nursing when we stare into each other's eyes. He knows I am nourishing him and always there to fill his needs. And I know I'm doing a good job because he's getting heavy!

We went to the pediatrician yesterday. Max weighs a little under 17 lbs. I think he actually lost a tiny bit of weight this past week. He is so active these days and always reaching out and scooting towards his toys. He's burning tons of calories with all this action. He went down to the 25th percentile in weight and is in the 75th percentile for height.

We just started giving him brown rice cereal yesterday, so he'll probably pack some weight back on really fast. I barely gave him any these past 2 days, but we'll increase that very soon. After hearing too many nightmare stories about babies being constipated, I've started slow with the food.

Going to the park is one of my favorite things to do with Max. We love being together and we love being outside. I love being his mom and it is so beautiful to reflect on our journey together, thus far.

Bananas & Babies

Max got to eat his first bite of a banana today. It was hilarious to see how much he loved it. We froze a small bite for him inside a mesh net. He worked on that banana for 20 minutes....enough time for me to make a beautiful salad for myself! It must have felt really good on his gums to chew on it because he smiled and kicked his legs with enthusiasm. It was the equivalent of giving Boogars catnip to let Max attack his new frozen treat!

I just put Max to bed at 10pm and I'm very curious if that bite of a banana will help him sleep any longer. He's been going 6 hours for his longest stretch these days and that is already considered sleeping through the night. But he is up 3 times almost every night and that's still a lot.

I'm proud of myself for not giving in to the baby training short cuts. Every time Max entered a growth spurt and was eating every hour or two, Marc would say to just feed him already. But then we'd get through that little phase and be so happy we were able to stick with exclusive breast feeding. This will ultimately benefit Max's health forever and reduce his risk of so many diseases including diabetes, allergies, and obesity.

I have to admit that when I look at my 17 pound baby who has more than doubled his weight, I am elated at the fact that I am the one who fed him every single meal. Even the small amount of bottles he's had has been my milk that I pumped. I think I would advise any new mom to just hang in there and keep up the good work. One day your baby will get sick and you might look back and wish you had done things differently. No regrets....

Thursdays at the park are always a treat. I love this group of mommies and babies. It is one of the highlights of my week to see this lovely group. Max is usually one of the most talkative babies of the bunch. I think he is happiest in groups like this where he is getting lots of attention. You can see Max upside down holding his rattle. It was a great day as usual!