My Love

Do you know what my son did tonight? He helped me unload the dishwasher. For real! Bowl breaking and glass thrashing wasn't even a little part of the task. He actually picked every piece of tupperware and the lids off the cleaning rack and slammed them in the correct drawer. When he was finished, I clapped and cheered for him the way I do when I'm proud....no surprise there. I'm his biggest fan!

Normally, I praise him to encourage him, but this time I was really blown away. He surely knew how genuine my applause was, because he emptied out the drawer of tupperware and refilled it several times to get my wild reaction over and over again. And each time he completed the task, he was equally as happy as the first time. That's my boy!

I've been to the yoga studio a LOT these past couple weeks either to teach a class or take a class. When my parents were in town last week, I think I was there every single day for one reason or another. They even came with Max and me to family yoga! Now that they're gone, we're back to the ho-hum regular, after a busy week with the grandparents.

I literally squeezed in every single thing I needed to do while my parents were here. Their visit began with an abrupt visit to the dentist for me. I don't think we even went home after I picked them up from LAX and I got some chipped teeth repaired. Yes, that was the kind of week it was. They did a lot of babysitting and I did a lot of everything else under the sun that needed and wanted to be done. Thanks mom and dad!

More random news on the home front:

Max has a big toe nail that is about to fall off. It is grossing me out and making me cringe. I don't think I've ever lost a toe nail before and I feel so bad for him. He constantly picks and pulls at it if his shoes aren't on, so he's basically living in his pedipeds these days. Yowzers!

Today a mom said to me, "Isn't it nice to go to work and get a break from him!" And I just didn't relate to that comment very well. Yes, I loooove teaching yoga. It is a perfect job for me in many ways, but I always miss Max when I leave him. It's funny because even though I have two part time jobs, I still sort of consider myself a stay at home mom. Maybe if I made enough money to pay my bills I would consider myself employed....hahaha! Well, I'm actually getting closer and closer to that every month!

Max is still obsessed with his lovey. Today someone said, "Is that his boom boom?" And I smiled and said "Yes!" Because whether you call it his puppy, blankie, or as we call it, his lovey, it has been his favorite comfort item since he was born. We always put it with him in the bassinet when he was sleeping without me and now he drags it around everywhere he goes like Linus on Charlie Brown. I've tried to replace it with a bunny, a teddy bear, and even a ridiculously soft hippo, but no other object compares.

This peaceful sight is what you see when you look up lovey in the dictionary. Goodnight with love....xoxo

Bye Bye Grandma & Grandpa

This moment is bittersweet because ALL the grandparents are officially gone. They were all so much help to me, and now the real test begins. Sort of. I'm still tired all the time, but I'm feeling much, much better than I did when I came home from the hospital. The first 2 weeks when my parents were here was by far the hardest, and that was probably the biggest test. Now that we have a system in place to take care of Max I think we'll be ok.

The biggest new development at home are my boobs. Breast feeding really requires a little bit more dedication than I had anticipated. I find that it is the main thing on my mind 24/7. It's almost impossible to be away from Max while I am breast feeding. When Grandma and Grandpa would take him out during the day, I would constantly be wondering if they had enough milk to last until they got home. Supplementing with formula makes me feel like a failure, and I just don't want to go there. I don't like to eat processed foods, and I certainly don't want to begin my child's life on them.

The breast pump I am renting is a little big to travel with, so when we go on a trip I don't know what I am going to do if Grandma and Grandpa want to take Max on an outing while I rest for a bit. This really isn't a problem for me so much as it is for those that want to do something different than I do. I'm tired all the time and happy to do nothing, but they want to be out and about. Maybe by the time I'm traveling with the baby this will be easy.

Another breast feeding development is that I am very sore right now. I think it is because I pumped A LOT this week so that Marc's parents could take care of Max without me there. Pumping stimulates the nipples differently than breast feeding, and it hurts. I am hoping to go all natural for the next few days in hopes of eliminating this pain. It's bearable, but all too unpleasant.

I've had an "ah ha, now I get it" moment. People used to tell me to enjoy being pregnant because when the baby is born you won't have him all to yourself anymore. You will be sharing him with everyone else. I totally get that now. When Max was out with his grandparents for more than a few hours, I started going crazy missing him. And my boobs would fill with milk and he wouldn't be there to feed and it was harder on me than expected. I don't consider myself overprotective and am very surprised by my understanding of those comments.

I remember before I had the baby, my mom asked me if it would be ok to take Max somewhere without me if I was too tired to go. My response was, "Sure! Go have fun!" She said that I thought I would be ok before having the baby, but you never know how you are going to react to certain things immediately after the baby is born. I didn't believe that, but now that Max is here, I don't want him gone from me for very long at all.

So it makes me think this is the way mother nature intended. We weren't created with breast pumps in tow. And it's proven that the baby recognizes the mothers voice when they are born. Mommies are the food source for their babies. If it gives me less freedom because I need to always be close by for him, then so be it. The bonding is a beautiful and natural experience for both of us.

But don't get me wrong, I still wish I owned the thousand dollar breast pump....hahaha!!!

I went to a marketing research study today and got paid a whopping $50. The purpose of the survey was to get breastfeeding mothers' opinions on a new formula. Basically they were trying to convince me that their insanely expensive formula was as good for my baby as breast milk. Isn't that the problem with society today? Companies like that set out to convince our health providers of absurdities like this, and people fall for it. And cha-ching, money in the bank for them.

That's disgusting. I understand that some mothers are unable to breast feed and have no choice but to rely on formula. But there is nothing wrong with me and there is absolutely no convincing me that formula is as good as breast milk. Yuck.

I better try to take a nap for a bit before Max wakes up looking for food. Grandma and Grandpa won't be here to allow me to skip the 6am feeding. It's bewildering to think that I am moderately tired after having them help this week, and I hope I'm not beyond exhausted in a day or two. Oh wait nevermind, he's already awake and ready for milk. Go figure! Gotta' get back to being mommy....the best job in the world!