There are about eight (thousand) reasons why I will be awake at 4am tonight:
1. My baby. He might cry around that time for one of a thousand reasons. He might be a little too hot or cold and need a blanket placed on or removed from his body. He might be thirsty and need some milk. His pacifier may have fallen out of his mouth and need me to put it back in. He might simply want the comfort of knowing that I will be there for him and revel in a few pats on the back before he is sent back into his slumber.
2. My boobs. Actually the chances are highly likely because I am so used to getting up around that time that even if baby Max does not need me, my body is biologically programmed to wonder how the little rugrat is doing. Funny how mother nature takes over. Thursday night Max slept for 10 hours in a row and my boobs were so full of milk that morning that I was afraid to move. I even broke the number one cardinal rule of motherhood and woke my sleeping baby and latched him on for a drink.
3. My cat. Boogars likes to announce when he is going to use the potty and will howl at the top of his lungs before going out to his litter box. That's the best case scenario because at least he finds what he needs and I don't have to get out of bed to tend to him. Other reasons are because he ran out of food or water in the night or wants attention. He may also meow at 4am if I have not gotten up to assist Max in some way. He is so used to getting pets before and after my other baby gets his pets that if I skip that feeding he is all kinds of confused.
4. Marc. His phone. His alarm. His trips to the bathroom. Yada yada yada....
5. Me. God forbid I have to tend to myself. Sometimes I wake up about to chew my tongue off because I am so thirsty. Breast feeding does that. And then after pounding water in the middle of the night, sometimes I have to get up again to use the bathroom once or twice.
6. Earthquakes. Yeah, we live in southern California and earthquakes are a regular occurrence here. But wait. This is not true. I was already awake for every earthquake we've had since baby Max was born. So an earthquake never technically woke me up.
7. My To Do List. Yes, it is possible that a list could wake me up. Because I have a huge fear of being unprepared or neglectful and worry too much. Dammit, that reminds me I need to write a few thank you notes, submit some insurance claims online, and I can't remember what else I forgot.
8. My Dirty Hair. Last night I woke up because I remembered that I forgot to wash my hair this week. No kidding! I worked for eight hours on Wednesday and between that and yoga teacher training I only allotted four minutes time for a shower. Don't ask me how I remembered to use soap and shave my armpits because my day started at 5am and I didn't get home until 5:30pm. By the time I put Max to bed at 11pm I was delusional. Thank goodness I don't have to do that on a regular basis!
Can you believe someone actually gave us an alarm clock for a baby shower gift? And you wonder why the only present I ever ask for is sleep. Everyone thinks I am joking, but that is all I ever need. Well I could get greedy and think of some other things! Hmmmm.....Time to go to sleep!